← Satire

Group member finds getting full credit for assignment he contributed nothing to unfair

Coventry, United Kingdom— Having not read a single word of the assignment, 19 year old group member Tom Wesley feels that getting full credit for the Econometrics assignment he contributed nothing to is unfair. “Honestly, I probably contributed less than nothing because of all my interjections” Wesley told reporters, “It may have seemed like I was trying to understand the assignment, but I was really just looking for people to laugh at my jokes.”

Questioning his contribution to the group project, Wesley told reporters that it’s not like he was completely silent during their group meetings. “I mean sure, I threw in the occasional ‘we’re so fucked’ and ‘why don’t we just drop out and become strippers’, but is that really contributing?” Wesley said, “I don’t think so.”

Wesley told reporters that he isn’t trying to be a dick, he just wishes his group mates would look at it from his perspective. “I mean, how would these guys feel if they contributed nothing to a project and still got full credit?” Wesley said, “It just doesn’t make sense. It’s not right.”

“To be fair to Tom, he did do absolutely nothing” Marc Stevens, one of Wesley’s group mates told reporters, “We all think he shouldn’t receive the same grade as us, since we actually did the work, you know?” At press time, Wesley’s group mates were observed conspiring to blast Wesley as hard as possible in the group evaluation.